Mixed Feelings
by LifeWaitsForNobody
Summary: During their first days of Hogwarts, Lily and James actually got along well. But when James and the rest of the Marauders start picking up on Severus, Lily cuts off all relationship with James except for arguing with him. Time pass, and on their 6th year, Lily starts to realize that James might have actually change.
1. The Beginning

All the first years squeezed together at the top of the Great Hall, their excitement and fear filled the air. The rest of the students gazed at them, some looking for a younger relative or neighbour, others, wishing the ceremony was over so they could eat. Among the first years, a bright-red hair stood out. It belonged to a freckled little girl who was shaking. To her left, a tall skinny boy, with baggy clothes and grease hair was trying to calm her down. To her right, a kid with messy hair and glasses was laughing loudly with three other boys.

"Silence, please." a strict tall witch with a tight bun and a pointed hat said. The Hall instantly became quiet. "For those of you who don't know, my name is Professor McGonagall. First years, when I call your name, you will put on the hat and sit on the stool to be sorted."

She started naming kids, starting with a blond scared boy named "Abbot". The dynamic was simple: Professor McGonagall called out a name, the student sat on the stool, and a talking hat sorted him or her in one of the four houses: Huffelpuff, Gryffindor, Slytherin or Ravenclaw. The students of the corresponding house cheered and the first year went to sit to the table. During the first 3 or 4 students everything seemed to be the same, until a curly haired boy, by the name of "Black, Sirius" sat on the stool.

"GRYFFINDOR" the Sorting Hat said.

Suddenly, the Great Hall fell silent. A few gasps were heard.

"A Black? In Gryffindor?"

"The hat must be wrong!"

"This can't be true…"

Sirius headed to the Gryffindor table, his smile never fading away, and before sitting down, he blew a kiss to the Slytherin table, which 'cause a guffaw to fill the Hall.

The Ceremony continued and kids were being sorted.

"Evans, Lily" the Professor said.

The shaking red-haired girl walked slowing towards the stool. She sat down and waited. She could hear the hat naming her qualities and the houses she could be in. Lily couldn't help but be amazed of having in her head a talking hat who knew so many things about her, things that she didn't even knew. Finally, the hat shouted its verdict: "GRYFFINDOR"

Lily was confused, hadn't Sev told her that she would be in Slytherin with him? Tottering, she headed to the Gryffindor table and sat down next to Sirius.

The sorting kept going, the tables were getting full with all the new students. There were only three students left: the boy with messy hair and glasses, Severus and a slim freckled boy.

"Potter, James" McGonagall said. The first boy walked confidently toward the stool. As soon as the hat touched his head, it shouted "GRYFFINDOR".

In that moment, Lily couldn't help but grin; there was definitely something she liked about that Potter boy. While he headed to the Gryffindor table, he noticed the smile in the redhead girl, but tried to ignore it and sat next to her.

"James Potter" he introduced himself

"Lily Evans" she shook his hand.

He was going to say something else, but got interrupted by the Professor's voice announcing the name of another student.

"Snape, Severus"

While the scruffy boy moved towards the hat, Lily was hoping with all her heart that her friend would be sort into Slytherin. She knew that it was a bit selfish of her, as Severus didn't want to be in Gryffindor under any circumstances, but she couldn't bear the thought of losing her best friend.

While Lily was lost in her own thoughts, McGonagall had put the hat into Snape's head. "SLYTHERIN" it shouted.

When she heard that name, Lily felt as if her whole world fell apart. She shared a glance with Sev, whose face was a mixture of emotions, as he walked towards the Slytherin table.

While "Zabini, Aaron", the freckled boy, was been sorted, James couldn't help but look at Lily, she seemed devastated.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

The girl looked at him in surprise.

"You know the boy who had just been sorted into Slytherin?"

"The one with the greasy hair and weird nose" he asked, trying to make her laugh but realising he had messed it up the moment she sent him the dirtiest look.

"Well, for your information, he is my only and best friend!" she snapped.

He kept quiet while the Sorting Hat sent Zabini to Slytherin. After the boy sat down with the rest of his house mates, an old man with a long white beard stood up.

"Welcome back to another year in Hogwarts. For those of you who may not know it, my name is Professor Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts. But don't worry; I'm not going to keep you waiting more time. Let's eat!"

As soon as the headmaster finished saying those words, the five tables instantly filled with delicious food. Lily and James didn't talk with eachother at all during the dinner, each of them making conversation with other students. After the desserts were eaten, Professor Dumbledore stood up again.

"Now that we have all eaten, it's time for the serious conversation. As you might know, a man who calls himself, The Dark Lord and his entourage, are killing innocent muggles and muggleborn witches and wizard, just because they're not "pure bloods". I hope that all of you will know how to distinguish what is right and what is wrong when the time comes. Now, I know it's late and I bet you are all exhausted, so off you go! Prefects, please guide the first years to their rooms."

Before they stood up, James leaned towards Lily and said: "You know, I could be your friend too, if you like"


	2. The Party

**A/N: Sorry it took me a bit to upload this chapter; hopefully, it won't take me this long to upload the next one **

The dormitory of the 6th year girls was a mess; suitcases were on the way, all the drawers were open, bras could be seen on the floor, school ties hung from bed posts and clothes were everywhere.

As Lily was unpacking her stuff, she looked back to that same day 5 years ago: her first day at Hogwarts. She remembered how scared and excited at the same time she had been. She recalled how Severus tried to calm her down, and how sad she had been because they hadn't been sorted in the same House. She brought to her mind Potter's, well,_ James' (_it was still bizarre to call him by his first name_)___offer of being friends. How much things had changed! .

"Lily! Stop staring at the wall and hurry up! I wanna go downstairs when we finish with this." Leah said.

"IF we ever finish with this" Katie replied.

"Sorry, I was just thinking"

"About what?" Marlene asked her

"About how much things had changed since we started Hogwarts. The first day, my only friend was Severus, whom I don't speak since the end of last year. I also thought that I wouldn't make any friends because I was a muggleborn and look at us. And even though I thought Pott..-James! and I could be friends at the beginning, I hated him for the past 5 years when he and the Marauders started picking up on Severus, but after this summer… I think I can even say that we are friends?"

"Lils, you know I love you, but you've been talking about this the WHOLE summer! Since the first day we met with the Marauders, and that was at the beginning of July! It's been two months!" Leah said with a boring expression.

"Geez, I can feel the love, thanks Le" said Lily

"No bother, hun" Leah said with a smirk on her face.

"Guys! Hurry up! There's a party going down there and we're missing it!" Susan said throwing a pillow at the two girls.

After a pillow fight that left the room even messier, they decided to leave the tidy up process for the next day and went downstairs. The Common Room was packed with students dancing, talking and drinking. Lily could see the faces of the amazed first years, all gathered together in a corner, gazing everywhere.

In the middle of the dance floor, Sirius Black was trying to dance what Lily guess was Flamenco, a Spanish dance. A group of people had congregated around him watching him tapping his foot against the floor without following any rhythm and moving his arms in circles aimlessly. Among the group of people, Lily took a glimpse of a messy black hair she had grown to know very well. James was laughing at his friend's attempts of dancing and joking with Remus and Peter.

After watching Sirius' failed attempts at dancing, Lily headed to greet some friends. While she was on her way, someone tapped her lightly on the shoulder. Lily turned around to find two smiley boys looking at her.

"Hey, _Lirio" _Sirius said with a broad smile.

"_Lirio? _What the hell does that mean? Wait! Do I want to know it?" Lily said, trying to hide a smile.

"It means _Lily _in Spanish. What did you think it meant? Sometimes you offend me, Lils. Now, I shall leave you two alone, I gotta keep up with the tradition of snogging at least one girl the first day at Hogwarts!" said Sirius, as he headed towards a group of 5th year girls.

"Ugh, he's incorrigible. " Lily groaned.

"I know. Anyway, how was your summer?" James asked.

"Potter-JAMES! Damn! This is gonna be difficult… I've been seeing you the whole summer!" Lily laughed. "Anyway, why is Sirius so much into the Spanish culture now? He wasn't like that 2 weeks ago! "

"Well, my dad is friends with the Spanish Ministry of Magic, and last week, he and his family (which included her pretty teenage daughter) came to visit us." Lily felt a strange pain when she heard the word 'pretty' coming out of James' mouth. What the hell was happening to her?

" They will probably come back to the Auror's Ball my family organize on Christmas and Sirius wants to impress her then, considering that her farewell consisted in slapping him and shouting at him what I presume were some really rude words." James finished his explanation.

In that moment, Lily burst out laughing. Sirius was a really good friend of hers, but considering his way of treating some girls, it was always funny to see how he was slapped by a girl, and the fact that she insulted him in another language was even funnier. James joined her.

People started staring at them, for most of them, it was the first time in years they saw them laughing together and not screaming at each other. And even though it was a good change, it was still weird.

They didn't stop laughing until tears were falling in both of their faces. When they were finally able to speak again, James asked her if she fancied a drink.

"Sure, though I still can't understand how you four always manage to throw all these parties with all this food and refreshments."

"Well, you know, a Marauder never reveals his secrets" James joked.

"And I think it's for the best, if not, I'd have to give you all detention!" Lily teased him.

While they were talking, someone had turned up the music and most of the students were dancing in the middle of the room.

"Oh, it's Celestina Warbeck's new song, I love it! Let's dance!" Lily said as she grabbed James hand and leaded him to the improvise dance floor.

They started dancing, and Lily was secretly glad that James didn't have Sirius' dancing skills. When the song finished, "Love" by John Lennon started. They looked hesitantly at each other, but after a few seconds, Lily got closer to James and put her hands around his neck. Surprised, James settled his arms around her waist. Though there was a cautious distance between the two of them, they both knew that they had never been so close.

"James?" Lily asked as she looked up to his eyes. It would be that night when she would realize that 'James' had come out of her mouth rather than 'Potter' for the first time in 5 years.

"Yeah?"

"Is your offer still up?"

"Which offer, Lily?"

"The one you suggested 5 years ago, the one of us being friends."

He looked into her eyes, and said "Of course it is, Lils"

**A/N: Hope you enjoyed to chapter! Rewiew it and tell me what are your thoughts about it! What did you like? What did you hate? **

**And if you like it, don't forget to favorite and follow it!**


	3. The Attack

**A/N: I'm sooo soooo sorry it took me this long to upload the chapter, but blame my teachers, who thought it'd be a great idea to put 5 exams in two weeks.**

The only thing that could be heard in the Great Hall that morning were the sobs of some students when they woke up and realized it hadn't being a dream.

It had been a very long night. The students knew something was wrong the moment the teachers woke them up that night. They were given two simple instructions: put on your dressing gowns and go to the Great Hall as soon as possible. Lily, as a prefect, had to guide and calm down the younger students. When all the students and the staff were gathered in the Great Hall, Dumbledore gave them the bad news:

"Only a few of hours ago, a series of terrible things happened. I was advised not to tell you, but I thought this was the best thing for you. The dark wizard who goes by the name of Lord Voldemort and his minions have perpetrated a series of terrorist attacks all around the country, destroying several institutions and a many houses, killing hundreds of people; muggles and wizards. We will tell you the list of the dead and missing ones as soon as the Ministry gives it to us. The train will be at your disposition from the day after tomorrow for those of you who want to return home. For tonight, you can either go back to your dormitories or stay here."

No one moved. Everyone was in a complete shock. The silence was broke by some of the first years who started crying. The older students around them tried to comfort them, but most couldn't help to shed some tears. In a moment, the Hall was a mess. All the students were looking for their relatives and friends all around the room, crying and hugging each other.

Soon enough, the 5 tables had disappeared and instead there were hundreds of sleeping bags, pillows and blankets. It took Lily a while to find all her friends. When the nine of them were finally together, the 5 girls and the 4 boys gathered together in a corner, all sitting on a sleeping bag. None of them talked for a while. After all, what to say after a tragedy like this happens? What to say, when you don't even know if your family is death or alive?

"How could this have happened?" Avril finally said with tears in her eyes.

"To be honest, I don't know" Remus answered.

"In Hogwarts we feel so safe that sometimes it's difficult to remember that there's an actual war going out there" sighted Leah.

"You are right, there's a war going out there, and you know whose fault is it?" Sirius asked angrily

"You-know-who's, of course" said Susan.

"He's only part of the problem. The ones to blame are my stupid family and their stupid friends! If they didn't support that monster and do the dirty work for him, he wouldn't be this powerful! He would just be a crazy psycho!" Sirius shouted.

"You're right Padfoot, but low your voice, will you? You are scaring the youngsters" Remus said.

"Sirius is completely right, and we have to do something. It's insane that I have to be afraid not only for myself, but also for my family, only for the fact that I'm a muggleborn. We have to stop this, I don't know how, but we have to." said Lily.

"I agree with you Lils, and you know what is that _something _you're talking about?" James started saying "Is to fight. We have to-"

He stopped when he realized that a skinny boy with black greasy hair was standing next to them.

"What the hell do you want?" James asked him.

"Lily, please, can I talk to you?" Severus asked looking straight to Lily and ignoring the other eight teenagers.

"Sure, talk. We are all willing to hear what you want to say"` the redhead snapped.

"Lils, _alone_, please" the boy begged.

"What for? So you can call me a mudblood again? No thanks."

"If our friendship has even meant something to you, please, come with me for two minutes. I'm begging you, Lily!"

"Alright, you have TWO minutes" Lily said as she stood up.

The two of them went to the other side of the Great Hall, and sat next to a wall. They were in silence for a few seconds, until Severus finally talked.

"Lily, I'm so sorry about what I said last year. I've tried to apologized a million of times, but you never let me talked, I'm not saying that you weren't right, that you were, of course, 'cause you're always right and-"

"Severus, focus!"

"Yes, sorry. Well, what I wanted to say is that I'm so sorry and that I miss you so much. Can we please be friends again?"

"And what about those death-eaters-to-be that you call friends? Will you still hang out with them?"

"Well, yes Lily. They are my friends too, you can't make me chose."

"How can they be your friends, Sev? Don't you see that their families are the responsible of all these deaths? And in a couple of years, THEY will be the responsible of more deaths!"

"Lily, be rational, please!"

"_Be rational_, you say? Severus, they are the ones killing muggleborns! Don't you see that one day they will kill me? Or at least, they will try to!"

"You're impossible sometimes, you know that? No one is going to kill you, for God's sake!"

"Oh, yeah? And how you know that? You are not any better than them! Don't you know that I have seen you cursing muggleborns in the corridors? Really,_ Snape, _leave me alone!" said Lily as she stormed out towards her friends

_Snape_. She had never called him that, and they both knew it. Even though he would never accept it, in that moment, a little part of Snape knew that Lily would never forgive him, and even if she did, she would never, ever forget.

**So yeah, any thoughts of what should happen next? Any ideas of how to improve it? REVIEEEEEW! :3 And don't forget to follow and favourite it too **


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